Facing Heartbreak
Our Facing Heartbreak group focuses on the book Facing Heartbreak: The Steps to Recovery for Partners of Sex Addicts and is led by Garrett Irby and Angela Hayes. This group is for women who have experienced any of the following:
You just found out that your partner is cheating on you.
You have been wrestling with how to handle your partner’s deception around sexual issues for a while.
You just have been suspecting something is amiss with your partner’s sexual behavior but he will not admit to it.
Your partner has been engaging in any number of sexual behaviors (flirtatious text messages, pornography, affairs, sex with strangers) and has been lying to you about it.
Your husband is in recovery for sex addiction.
“Finding out that the person you love is a sex addict is one of the most painful experiences a spouse or partner will ever go through. Hurt, betrayal, confusion, and anger are often the result of this discovery. Facing Heartbreak: The Steps to Recovery for Partners of Sex Addicts will help you move from heartbreak and betrayal, to hope and healing. Regardless of your decision to stay or leave the relationship, you deserve a chance to heal. This book will help support you in that process.” (from the back cover of the book)
While the book often uses the term “sex addict”, you do not have to label your spouse a sex addict to use this material for your healing. The only requirement is that your spouse has lied about or covered up his sexual behavior and/or you want him to stop engaging in certain sexual behaviors. Participating in a group is one of the most recommended indicators of success in recovering from betrayal trauma and moving forward with your life.
Group participants will grow in the following life skills:
Participating in a culture of support
Knowing the signs of a healthy group
Coping with the trauma of discovery/disclosure
Identifying and managing emotions such as anger, shame, guilt, numbness, and confusion
Reducing anxiety through internal skills
Responding appropriately to a crisis
Understanding addiction
Communicating your thoughts and feelings
Developing a plan for support and self-care
Group participants will grow in these life skills by completing some of the following exercises:
The shield of safety
Establish non-negotiable boundaries
Anger as the driver
Choose your response to shame
Speak the unspoken rules from childhood
Discover your communication style
Discover Your Communication Role - The Karpman Triangle
The Room of Doom
Personal Craziness Index
This group is a small group of peers who have gone through a similar experience. Group members will work read and exercises in the book Facing Heartbreak, encourage each other in between sessions through phone calls, listen to each other’s presented work, and give feedback meant to encourage you on your journey of healing.
Prerequisites
Pass a prescreening by group leader
Ongoing therapy with an individual therapist who recommends your participation in this educational support group.
Signed release of information between group leader and your individual therapist
Required for continued involvement
Presence and full participation in all group sessions
Completion of homework between sessions and support of peers between sessions
