Betrayal Trauma
Betrayal Trauma
You just found out that your spouse has been hiding sexual behavior from you. Maybe you are shocked. Maybe you knew something was going on the whole time and you finally have the confirmation. Either way, you are probably experiencing what is known as “betrayal trauma”. Whether it was pornography, an affair, flirtatious texts, or prostitutes, when you found out that the person who you thought was committed to you was lying and deceiving you feel hurt and a whole avalanche of other emotions.
Find out how to regain your footing, work through some of the emotions and thoughts you are experiencing, then decide how to move forward.
If you are experiencing betrayal trauma, you are basically experiencing PTSD symptoms. Maybe you are experiencing stressors such as feeling violated or worrying about contracting a sexually transmitted disease. Maybe you are experiencing intrusive thoughts and memories that you do not want to recall. These could include becoming anxious when you see sexually suggestive images on TV and movies, struggling to think of things other than your partner’s sexual betrayal, looking at him/her and thinking about what they did, or feeling like you are reliving the discovery over and over again. Maybe you feel blame for your partner’s behavior. Maybe your partner has denied your suspicions, but all the evidence says your suspicions are correct. These last two are blatant forms of gaslighting.
Working with a CSAT you will take an assessment called the Inventory for Partner Attachment, Stress, and Trauma to help you and your therapist understand the nature and extent of what you are experiencing. Just having nonjudgmental and open conversations can bring much relief. Using the assessment results, your therapist can guide you through specific exercises to assist in relieving the symptoms you are experiencing.
Then, you can determine your source of power, make decisions for yourself, and be guided down the road to your goals for the future of your relationship.
Ready to get started?